What Kinesiology & Eight-Year-Old Me Taught Me About Taking Risk

I walked into my kinesiology appointment with questions around self trust.

I'm running two businesses, hosting overseas retreats, and taking some big risks.
Like anyone, I go through the eb and flow of doubting myself, getting in my own head and second-guessing the path I'm on.

Sometimes I get caught up in other people’s opinions. Some people say to focus on the studio since that's the obvious one, with rent to pay and tangible success to measure.

But I’m not looking for someone to tell me what I should do. I’m looking for permission to trust myself.

The muscle test that shifted my mindset…

During the session, Ellie my kinesiologist, asked me a question I didn't expect: "What happened in your life when you were eight years old?"

I had to think back. And then I remembered that’s when me and my family moved to New Zealand from the UK.

It was a pivotal time in our lives. We said goodbye to family, friends and our dog.
There were lots of unknowns. I was really shy when I was young so having to go to a new school and make new friends felt scary.

I was lying on the treatment table, and Ellie kept muscle testing me and holding different acupressure points while I sat in silence and let different memories arise from my time in New Zealand.

I found I was searching my mind and was trying hard to find something bad, or traumatic, or something that would explain why I might be doubting myself now.

But every single memory was so happy. There was so much freedom and joy and laughter.
There was lots of dancing (we danced every morning at my school) and adventure and play.
At that time I wasn't worried about what was coming next, I was just willing to be in it.

The message from eight-year-old me…

After about ten or so minutes of silence, I told Ellie what I was seeing.

"I was trying to find something bad," I said. "And I couldn't."

We sat with that for a moment.

Eight-year-old me wasn't trying to tell current me that I survived something hard. She was trying to remind me of something I'd forgotten.

She was saying: Have fun and enjoy the journey. Everything will be okay, and not because nothing scary or hard will happen, but because you know how to find joy in the middle of the unknown. You know how to play even when you're unsure. 

What changes when we let go of control…

Here's what shifted in my perspective after that moment…

When we’re in a space of fear (for me it’s worrying about whether the studio will succeed, stress about whether I'm making the right choices, doubt about whether I can handle a bricks and mortar business)... that’s coming from a place of lack, of trying to control and of trying to force things into submission.

That energy doesn't attract what you want. It repels it.

When you’re in a space of play, presence, and trust, and you’re dancing through the uncertainty, that's when life has the space and freedom to unfold as it’s supposed to. 

When you allow yourself to be open, creative and expansive - that energy will attract opportunity.
It’s the kind of welcoming and magnetic energy that invites people in and opens doors.

When we loosen our grip and allow ourselves to actually enjoy the process, including the scary parts, we become more aligned with who we actually want to be and what we actually want to create.

The real definition of success…

A lot of us measure success by the outcome.

I think success lies in doing the scary thing, making the mistakes, meeting people, enjoying new experiences.
In that way, whatever you do… it’s going to be okay.

Did the business survive? Did the retreat sell out? Did everyone approve?
…Who cares?

Instead let’s ask ourselves - What did you learn? Who did you meet? Did you trust yourself? Did you have a great time doing it?

Building, connecting, trying, laughing and trusting… that’s a win.

To anyone wanting to take the risk…

DO IT!
Do it sacred, do it with self-doubt, do it with imposter syndrome thoughts.
When you’re doing something and you feel scared, it’s usually because you’re standing at the threshold of an incredible and expansive new life chapter.

Loosen your grip, play, and have fun through it all.

Trust that everything is happening exactly as it's supposed to, and be present enough to receive the gifts in whatever comes to you.